Gentle Parenting Tip

Parenthood is not easy! There are a lot of big responsibilities. Parents are in charge of raising their kids to the point of adulthood, with the goal of turning them into valuable members of the community. This undertaking requires understanding, care, love, and the ability to keep them on the right path. Building a strong parent-child relationship is also considered to be one of the most important and most challenging parts of parenting. But how can we build that strong relationship with our kids? Gentle parenting tips can help!

Gentle parenting primarily focuses on infancy, so when our baby grows into a toddler, we can start using an aspect of respectful communication with them. Here are some methods to get your kids on board without ordering them around. You’ll learn to stop saying ‘NO’, ‘STOP’, and ‘DON’T’ so much when communicating with your kids, and what to say instead. 

Why you should stop saying ‘No’?

Kids are really good at doing things that displease us. So, we use the word “no” to get our kids to stop engaging in whatever activities we think are dangerous or messy. This is especially noticeable during the toddler years. According to Pardi (2017), toddlers hear the word “no” an average of 400 times a day! When we constantly tell our kids no, they become desensitized to the word. It stops being a statement to pay attention to and becomes something that Mom or Dad just says all the time.

Try this instead: 

• Explain yourself and your feelings

Consider explaining to your kids why their behavior, such as banging on the table over and over again, is so bothersome to you and others. You might tell them, “You are hurting the table and yourself when you bang on it, and that makes me sad.” It may feel futile to reason with toddlers, but you are actually teaching them something. You are showing your kids that what they are doing not only affects themselves, but also other people around them. It might take some time for your kids to develop concern for others’ feelings, but reminding them of your perspective will help them along. Moreover, breathing techniques can be applied to calm down kids, and once they calm down they will be able to truly hear the message you are trying to deliver.  

• Redirect your kids with positive alternatives 

Instead of saying “no” or “stop” to your kids, try redirecting them with positive alternatives. For example, “Let’s try gently petting the dog instead of pulling his tail.” Or “Please wait until I am finished working so I can give you my full attention.” Keep the word “stop” or “no” for the times you really need it. This method is a really effective communication technique that gives kids concrete ways to change their thinking methods to solve problems and concrete reasons for behaving in a useful, sensible way. 

• Speak with them like a friend

Gentle parenting helps build trust in our kids. Parents should do their best not to impose arbitrary controls on them. Parents should be generous with reasons, explanations, and information, so they know and understand why and what reasons we want them to do things. Usually, parents give orders and make demands of their kids because it is easier for them and they can get away with it. They use “no” because they don’t want to deal with the result of yes. So, they tend to say “no” and control them without concern. However, we couldn’t talk like that to an adult friend in our home or workplace. We would need to be more thoughtful and considerate when choosing our words. But why do we speak like that to our kids? Cultural norms let us issue orders to kids all day long about both big and small things. But we could easily change all of those orders into a friendly language to kids. For example “Shall we get up now?” Or “I’ve got the milk and cereal, can you please get your bowl?”

Gentle parenting is a great communication tool. Parenting is a more enjoyable experience when a positive parent-child relationship is established. Whether you are parenting a toddler or a teenager, good communication is the key to building self-esteem and nurturing relationships. Like most changes in life, it won’t come easy, but the reward is well worth it!

References 

Pardi, E. (2017, November 06). Retrieved February 17, 2021, from https://aleteia.org/2017/11/06/4-expert-moms-weigh-in-on-how-to-say-no-less-often-to-toddlers/

Stephney, S. (2015, July 28). What does it mean to be a parent? Retrieved February 18, 2021, from https://www.education.gov.gy/web/index.php/parenting-tips/item/1621-what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-parent

Meta description: Gentle parenting helps build a strong relationship between parents and kids. It 

is the way to get your kids on board without ordering them around, way to stop saying ‘NO’, ‘STOP’, and ‘DON’T’

Introducing: Monkey Mind!

Big News! A really cool AR filter, Monkey Mind, is coming from our yoga studio to Instagram! This brand new filter unpacks the special skills that your kids have and helps them learn how to express themselves and connect with the people they love. Why monkey? Oh, monkeys are naughty and are thought of as highly intelligent creatures, who love to play around and terrorize people and other animals! They are very sociable and have a mostly friendly attitude towards humans. Just like kids, they love to play around and examine everything they see. It is essential for them to express their active imaginations with excitement. Through play kids express who they are and how they can use their imaginations helps them develop: 

• Confidence and self-esteem

• Imagination and self-expression

• Independence and emotional resilience 

We started our AR filter based on parents’ and kids’ preferences. Most parents of young kids will have referred to their troublesome kids as “little monkeys” at one point or another. So, we finally created the Monkey Mind filter, which turns everyone who uses this filter into a cute monkey. It places a Santa hat on the head and it puts big protruding monkey rounded ears where your ears are. Falling bananas help it become even more exciting for both parents and kids to enjoy!

Check out this amazing filter on our Instagram @lanlanyoganyc! 

How Does Screen Time Affect Children?

Can too much screen time from TV, computers, and phones negatively impact children’s development? More and more research says it can. Young children have experienced issues with memory, attention, sight-seeing, and communication due to heavy screen time. In this article by Jacqueline Howard from CNN, the World Health Organization (WHO) suggests that children under the age of 1 should not be exposed to electronic screens for more than one hour a day. "Higher screen time viewing at 2 and 3 years of age was associated with children's delays in meeting developmental milestones at 3 and 5 years of age, respectively," said Sheri Madigan, an assistant professor and research chair in determinants of child development at the University of Calgary.  

Limiting screen time and increasing physical activity is the best recipe for a happy healthy childhood. This article by Emily S. Rueb from the New York Times suggests that physical activity improves a child’s physical and mental well being. In addition, physical activities can help prevent childhood obesity as well as a number of diseases and health issues. 

Yoga has proven beneficial to children of all ages, as it allows individuals to take time off of their technology and truly connect with their body. So why not get off the electronic screens and have your kids practice yoga? 

Yoga for kids

Yoga is a mind-body practice that combines physical poses, controlled breathing, and meditation. Practicing yoga may help reduce stress, anxiety and help improve ones’ overall health and well-being. As a beginner or a child, one should practice yoga alongside a friend or an instructor who will be willing to guide you on this peaceful journey. These simple yoga exercises are a great way for kids and adults to get the nervous energy out of their bodies and gain some focus.  Ashtanga yoga and Iyengar yoga are great for little yogis. Ashtanga yoga is a flowing style that progresses through a series of poses connected to the breath. Iyengar yoga emphasizes precision; it focuses on structural alignment of the body.

Encouraging children to practice yoga will build self-esteem and increase confidence. In addition, their concentration and sense of calm will improve. A yoga teacher can offer a great deal through guidance and, when matched with a child’s desire to successfully master a pose, enhance a child’s relationship with both mind and body.

Your child will find that a yoga life is a happy and healthy life.

10 Reasons Why Your Children Should Do Yoga

Yoga is a series of stretches and poses that an individual does while controlling their breathing technique. Since it’s a gentle activity, almost anyone can do yoga, regardless of your age or fitness level. Yoga allows children to express their energy and joy. It gives them an opportunity to try out new yoga poses, which encourages them to believe and achieve.  

Yoga exercises can be intense and vigorous, depending on your personal choice. No matter which type of exercise you do, it will allow your mind and body to relax and reflect. 

1. Yoga allows children to challenge themselves 

Children will be given the opportunity to try out new yoga poses. To an extent, children get to overcome an obstacle. 

2. Children get to take time off and reflect on their personal health

This allows children to understand what works well for their body. This can be related to breathing problems, anger management, and even time management. 

3. Yoga encourages connection between each other

Children will learn to communicate with each other, especially when they are practicing yoga poses with a partner. 

4. Yoga provides a method, environment where children can explore themselves

The environment that the children practice in will be private, meaning they will be able to learn about their strengths and weaknesses. 

5. Yoga works as a “natural medicine” for people of all ages

Yoga is a natural, drug-free method for your body to reset and re-energize.

6. Children will understand how to control their emotions through success and failure

Failure does not always bring negative effects. In fact, children can learn about the process and how to prevent failure through yoga techniques

7. Yoga is non-competitive (Self-challenge) 

Instead of competing with others, yoga allows you to set goals (achieving whichever yoga poses you like). 

8. Yoga improves sleep patterns especially in young children

Practicing yoga poses right before bedtime can benefit sleep quality and sleep schedules, as well as breathing techniques. 

9. Children learn about determination and perseverance

When something such as yoga is fun for kids, they always want to know more. This excitement helps lead to feeling more determined and persevering when difficulty arises. 

10. Encourage kids to be patient and learn

In the beginning, children will have to pay attention to practice certain yoga poses. They might even have to observe an expert first before trying it out themselves. 

Yoga brings positive aspects to our spiritual and mental well-being. Growing up is a challenging period for parents and children, so let’s use yoga to de-stress and unwind. Yoga provides fun activities for kids and parents. So why not try it out?  At Lan Lan Yoga, we utilize a simple three steps method to take yoga for children to the next level by having the children to reflect their own experience, helping them perceive, believe and achieve!

To find out more, check out our lesson page for more details